Plumbing Advice Blog

If you haven’t already read it, here’s Part 1.

Having enjoyed the cheeky banter, and safe in the knowledge that there was a bigger job ahead, Peter decided to pack up his tools and call it a day.

“I’m all done. I’ll get the office to come back to you with a date to refit your pipes”, he explained. “Oh, okay. Well, now that you’ve finished that, you must be thirsty?” She asked.

Peter had plenty of time to get to his next job and thought there was no harm in having a cold drink before leaving. “Yes, a soft drink would be nice… with ice, if you have it?”

As he packed away the last of his tools, the customer informed him that she just needed to pop to the utility room to get the ice.

Peter zipped up his tool bag, and used his dustpan and brush to sweep the immediate area. Upon finishing, he stood up and brushed himself down. His attention was then drawn elsewhere. Standing in front of him, in full black skimpy lingerie with an empty glass in one hand and a whip in the other, was the customer.

As she placed the glass on the kitchen top, she said: “I couldn’t find any ice, so I thought you might like something else instead?”

Being young, free and single, Peter thought: “Why not?”
It’s not every day you get an offer like that, and he did find her quite attractive. Peter was in no doubt about what she was implying, and he still had five minutes spare.
He wasn’t sure about the whip thing, but he’d tackle that soon enough.

“Let’s go somewhere more comfortable, I want to learn all about expanding pipes”, she whispered, leading him up the stairs to the bedroom.

As they got down to business, Peter was sure he could hear a noise coming from the room next door. He tried to ignore it, and continued to immerse himself in the moment.
A few more moans and groans ensued, his partner clearly enjoying herself. Peter then looked up and was greeted by the broad Cheshire cat grin of a man he’d never seen before.

“Who the hell are you?”, Peter shouted, whilst hastily jumping to his feet and trying desperately to hide his modesty. “Oh, don’t worry about him. That’s my husband; he likes to watch”, the customer calmly explained.

With that, Peter threw on his jeans, ran downstairs to the kitchen, picked up his tool bag, and sprinted like a gazelle out of the flat.

He was too shocked to attend his next appointment and, instead, decided to go back to base and explain what had just happened.

Janet, the office manager, listened intently to Peter’s story and then declared: “Oh, that all makes sense now”. “Why”, Peter asked, inquisitively.

“Well, we’ve just had a call from that customer. She asked if you were still going to refit her pipes and mentioned something about a disappointing performance”.
Peter suggested that it might be best for Bill to attend the job. He’s 74, semi-retired, and has a heart condition.

So, that’s someone else’s experience of an amorous customer. Is it a true story?
It really wouldn’t surprise me. In fact, that’s one of the more subtle anecdotes I’ve heard.
Until next time, Ciao for now.